Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
