wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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