she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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