we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
