so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
