Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
