Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
