Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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