I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
