I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
