wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
