he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
