Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
