The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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