C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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