All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My ass is underappreciated
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
