Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
