How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
