I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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