i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
