It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
