Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
thus making me awesome and them whores
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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