You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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