when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
