I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize