I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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