Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize