But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize