I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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