too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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