love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
