Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
