I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
