Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize