like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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