what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
