I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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