Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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