people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
