she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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