dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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