if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
did i walk over a car last night?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
