Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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