i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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