someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
