i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
this beer tastes like vomit already
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
