i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
