tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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