I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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