I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
