How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
