yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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