Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
