i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize