I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My legs feel like baby dolphins
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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