feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
