I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
