I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
