i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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