I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
