Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
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