I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
