Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
