Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
