you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
