so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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