he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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