I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
