i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she looked like the before picture.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
