he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize