My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
honey bunches of taint.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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