When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
