I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
