would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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