i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Of course I have a pirate flag
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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