yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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