He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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