His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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