Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
