He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
