You did not just play the dead husband card again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
