The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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