she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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