and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
