Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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