I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
